Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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