Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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