Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
