Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize