You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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