I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize