you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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