Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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