Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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