If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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