I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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