if i can run in heels then i can drive
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Please don't give away my fajitas
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
