He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
