This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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