oh god the rape fog is back!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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