Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
