Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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