This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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