The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
