we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
