chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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