Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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