I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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