I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
