watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
