You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
