What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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