Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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