he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
