She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize