I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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