At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
