Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize