you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
