I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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