I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
