Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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