So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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