; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
