he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
