careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
