last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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