I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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