After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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