: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize