thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
