I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
