P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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