what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Too much gin, very little bucket
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
