Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
