I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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