Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
