Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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