How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize