your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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