Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
