I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
