shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize