I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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