There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
