I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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