It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All the doctor said was why
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
