We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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