Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
