Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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