The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
