I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
