used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
